You might be a bulldogger if.............

I saw this thread on Peds-online and some of it rang true to me. Thought I would share. The bolded ones are ones that I can relate to.

You might be a bulldoger if...................

If you can name every dog on your yard's 4 generation ped, but couldn't begin to tell somebody your wife's birthday.

.... when you can remember every dog on your yards birthday, but not your anniversary.

Somebody has flown over your house and mistaken your back yard as "Crop Circles"...

.... when you pass a house that has a bigger yard than you, you imagine how many extra chain spot you could have and dont even look at the house.

.... the first thing you do when you get home is go outside with the dogs instead of seeing your wife and kid

.... when your wife knows shes 2nd to the dogs

When you tell your Dr. you don't need that script for antibiotics cuz you already got them in the bottom of your fridge.

You take your dog to the vet and when he asks "Has your dog been scratching lately?", you respond with "You damn right he has!".

If any time you pass a country place you count dog chain spots

If you can't pass a hardware store without running in to see if they have dog gear.

when your ole lady says "no breeding stand tonight, i'm on top"

They ask you if you need an account at the feed store because of the amount of dogfood you buy.

When your kids get stung by bees you go get the dex.

When you children get dehydrated from the flu and you run a ringer in them

.You can't see barrels without asking how much they are.

...You look for good dog names on billboards, movie credits and in the the newspaper.

...You call a $40,000 SUV a "Great dogwagon"

When you refer to a bi-racial kid as a 50/50 cross!!

You only fuck your wife on the 11th and 13th day after the bleeding stops.

You make the kids sleep on the couch to make room for the brood box.

You eat your taco bell while pulling ticks and scooping shit.

All your camping gear and winter wear came from purina points.

If you know how your buddy's dog is bred, but not his wife's name.

.....If you keep a book of baby's names but don't plan on kids

.....If you have plans to move your electric meter down by the road

.....If the most common question your family asks on the phone is "Do you still have all those dogs?"

.....If a dog is chewing his chain and when you go to yell at him, you can't remember his name, so his name immediately becomes "Motherfucker"

If you can't decide what dog you want to get a tattoo of ...

The only reason you hesitated getting the tattoo is because your wife wants you get her name before you get one of those damn dogs tattoo on yourself.

When you have more shoes that are yard shoes than good shoes to wear into public

When you walk into the livingroom of your house and there is almost as many pictures of dogs as the kids

you can't see the living room walls from trophies, ribbons, pedigrees, and arm band numbers that you have won with

When you have a break stick at the front door hanging on the key chain ring and another hanging at the door to yard also

when you know or know people that know more than most of the vets in your area.

when you'll drive 8 hours to a show, but won't drive across town to see your in laws.

both your lawyer and vet are on retainer.

when your bathroom is full of dog magazines

when your children ask you to read them a bed time story, you read them match report of Jeep vs Homer.

your children know who Jeep and Homer were.

When your buddy's wife is pregnant and you catch yourself asking, " when is she suppose to drop?"

You have an infection and go get the fish mox out of the dog cabinet

...You can find rare books more readily than you can AXLES!

...You list George Armitage in your top ten authors

You dont understand what the big deal is about dog shit on your shoes...

The only thing you've read cover to cover in the last 10 years is a dog mag.

You cant make plans for the next week, cause your brood bitch is due tween now and then.

when your kids get in trouble at school for arguing back at the teacher when she calls it a family tree he sayin no you mean pedigree.

If the Vet calls you to ask if you ever seen some shit like this.

If you got a deadly hurricane bearin down on you and your gonna hold it down with your hounds come hell or high water no matter what your wife,kids,mom,dad,weatherman or sherrif says.

.... when your calendar has more dog shows listed than anything else.

.... when u pass by a house that has a kennel in the back yard, you turn around to see whats in them

..... when your watching tv and see a pit you rewind it to see it again

..... when you should spend your money on fixing your truck, but decide to buy another dog instead

..... when youd rather have chain spots than grass

..... when you would rather go to a show instead of home for the holidays.(for those in the military)

..... when you tell your wife, your son needs a puppy to grow up with just so you can get what you want

 

Too true...

".... when you pass a house that has a bigger yard than you, you imagine how many extra chain spot you could have and dont even look at the house."

I do it all the time /\

 

Yea i just got the old lady with the last one about the kid needing a pup worked pretty good

 

So true... :p

 

Hell yeah ..we was raised that the size of the yard is a priority when buying a home..

 

bump

funny as

 

Good find Cynthia. First time I've seen that one.