Dead Duck

This is really cute - anyone use a good laugh today? :p

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon.
As she lay her beloved pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your pet has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"

Yes, I'm sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed the bird from its peak to its tail and back again. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, jumped down and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.

"$150!" she cried. "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20. But what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it all adds up."

 

Very Funny. I needed that.

 

Got any more?

 

that was a good one

 

That was great keep them coming.

 

that was good.

 

LOL...very cute !

 

Thats good Jenn I like that.........

 

thats adorable!
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Hehehe.....that was pretty good....

 

very cute.....needed that pick me up today....

 

Here's one. There's a skunk walking in the woods and he's crying. He comes accross a duck by a lake. The duck saw that he was crying so the duck asks "what's wrong". The skunk replies "I've been all alone my whole life and I don't know what I am". So the duck tells him "well if you don't cry any more I'll help you figure out what you are". The skunk stops cryng and the duck takes a look. After about a minute or so the duck tells the skunk "well your not black.... your not white.... and you stink.... you must be a mexican. ( I know some people are sensitive to these kind of jokes but I'm mexican and think it's fu**ing funny!) Hope your not offended.