Amazingly simple home remedies

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:​

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone
else to hold the vegetables while you chop.​

2. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by
using the sink.​

3. For high blood pressure suffers -- simply cut yourself and bleed
for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember
to use a timer.​

4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from
rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.​

5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then
you'll be afraid to cough.​

6. You only need two tools in life -- WD-40 and duct tape. If it
doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and
does, use the duct tape.​

Does this mean I'm supposed to induce an industrial size paper cut with
the duct tape to solve my blood pressure problem and then time myself by
how long it takes to empty the WD-40?​

7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.​

Somebody explain to me where the hammer came from since the only tools
left in my toolbox are WD-40 and duct tape.​

DAILY THOUGHT:​

Some people are like slinkies -- not really good for anything but they
bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.​

I'm not going near a flight of stairs for at least a week.​

 

Im gonna have to use number 5 for class tonight:eek::o

 

lol rule 6 n 7 remind me of my dad, once the front bumper came off his car so he duct taped it on

 

Sounds like a mechanic I know.

 

I hope you didn't have to use remedy that last night! :eek::bathroom2:

 

haha i posted this on pit bull chat the other day