A Few Questions: Advice?

Ok, so I have a few questions for you all. I have a 2 year old APBT named Terra. She is the love of my life. But, we have a few issues, that we need to work on and I'm hoping you all can help me with.

1.) She's fearful of strange men. This isn't just her personality, I say that because of our history together. I was in a very bad marriage where my ex husband beat her. He put her head through a few doors/walls, punched her in the head, put a ciggarette out on her face, kicked her down the stairs in a crate. If she tried to protect me from him, he'd beat her. I had another pit, named Rebel, who he hit so hard that he broke his ribs and he suffocated on his own blood and died. Needless to say I left and divorced him and took my dog with me. Together we've been working on her trust and fear. She's never shown any aggression, won't growl or snap, but she does cower or hide. I socialize her as much as possible, positively introducing her to strangers and other animals. Her seperation anxiety is better now as well, she doesn't tear the house apart anymore as long as she has a bone to chew on, her kong to play with, her rope to toss around etc. I now have a new boyfriend who is great with her, but if he shakes out his pants or moves to fast etc, then she runs to me to hide or cowers. Should I try to have him become her "alpha" and try to earn her trust by becoming her calm and assertive leader? Or give it time? She loves him, they play together and she will try to snuggle with him, but doesn't totally trust him.

2.) Terra has A LOT of energy, obviousl being only 2 years old. I play tug-o-war with her everyday, also playing fetch while we're playing tug-o-war. She loves it when I take her rope and spin her, in the air, while she's got a grip in the rope, but I can only do this for so long before I'm tired and she wants more. We also go on walks a few times a week, but with the weather turning cold with winter coming, it's going to be hard to walk her everyday. I was thinking about making her a flirt pole, it'd be easy enough, I already own a longe whip because I have horses, so all I have to do is attach a bait of some kind to the end of the rope. Does anyone have any other ideas? I don't have room for a treadmill, or I'd buy one for her. She just always seems to have so much energy, even after we've played for almost an hour.

I'm sorry if their are already topics with these questions answered, but I appreciate any and all help you can give me.

Ashley and Terra

 

Hi hun,
sorry to read about your ex been such a knobhead( there are good men still out there promise).
Firstly Terra will need her confidence rebuilding and that not all men are a threat,as this is what she sees them as,it does make a dogs life miserable.
Have you a posistive/confident male that is used to dogs that can help?
This has to be a slow process done at Terras pace,i had a bitch like this that i rescued in 1990,she destroyed beds,sofas,tables etc,very anxious girl that sat facing the wall and shook like hell.
What im trying to say is with time,patience,trust and love you can help Terra,its not always possible to fully cure these fears,but get them to a stage that doesnt impose too much stress on you both and you will both be more relaxed and happy.x

 

She's destructive like the one you describe. I'm on vacation for a week and couldn't bring Terra with me, so I left her with my grandmother, who we are living with and Terra knows, loves and trust. But because I'm not home, she has, in the last 3 days, ate my bed, a door, a pair of boots, slippers, the remote control.... Yeah... Someone has some separation anxiety. She's better than she use to be, if you can believe it. We're working on it. My boyfriend is very confident but patient and use to dogs, use to pitbulls as well, so he's good for her to be around. It's a daily battle, but she's my girl.