Dr. Lector

1.He lives vicariously through himself.
2.He once taught a Pitbull to bark in Spanish.
3.He never says something tastes like chicken – not even chicken.
4.He’s been known to cure narcolepsy, just by walking into a room.
5.He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels.
6.His goatee alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body.
7.Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact number.
8.He’s a lover, not a fighter, but he’s also a fighter, so don’t get any ideas.
9.When it is raining, it is because he is thinking of something sad.
10.His shirts never wrinkle.
11.If he were to mail a letter without postage, it would still get there.
12.You can see his charisma from space.
13.The police often question him, just because they find him interesting.
14.If a monument were built in his honor, Mt. Rushmore would close… due to poor attendance.
15.His blood smells like cologne.
16.His organ donation card also lists his goatee.
17.On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after him.
18.He doesn’t believe in using oven mitts, nor potholders.
19.His reputation is expanding faster than the universe.
20.His cereal never gets soggy. It sits there, staying crispy, just for him.
21.The pheromones he secretes have been known to affect people miles away, in a slight but measurable way.
22.His hands feel like rich brown suede.
23.He once taught a tarantula to read email for him.
24.Respected archaeologists fight over his discarded apple cores.
25.If there were an interesting gland, his would be larger than most men’s entire lower intestines.
26.He once knew he called a wrong number, even though the person on the other end wouldn’t admit it.
27.His pillow talk is years ahead of it’s time.
28.He can make orange juice, out of apples.
29.When people pay attention to him, he keeps the change.
30.Mosquitoes refuse to bite him purely out of respect.
31.In museums, he's allowed to touch the art.
32.He has inside jokes with complete strangers.
33.Bigfoot tries to capture photos of him.
34.His business card simply says - I'll call you.
35.He once brought a knife to a gunfight, just to even the odds.
36.He can speak French in Swahili.
37.He has won the lifetime achievement award...twice.
38.If he were to punch you in the face, you'd have to fight off the urge to thank him.
39.He's won trophies for his game face alone.
40.Presidents take time off on his birthday.
41.He once ran a marathon just because it was on his way.
42.When he swims, dolphins appear.
43.His small talk has altered foreign policy.
44.He is the most interesting man in the world....