... the OLD MAN series...

Ahh! What a day!

...You know when I buy dog food I like for it to be high in protein and dark in color.
I also like for the food to be very digestable. When my dogs eat and digest the food, I can tell the food has been digested well because the stool comes out long, dark and hard.
...Which brings me to what I am about to tell you good dogmen. The other day I was sitting around the house with out much to do and I decided to go feed my dogs.
I lit one of those black tobacco cigars and headed toward my dog yard. About that time one of my bulldog buddies came up and offered me a good drink of tequila. I never tried tequila before but it went down smooth and after a few minutes I took another good shot of it. Damn it was good, I bragged on how good it was ans my buddy left and gave me the rest of the bottle.
...I couldnt help but drinking the rest of it. By this time I was feeling pretty damn good. As time woreon I was feeling no pain and almost forgot about feeding my dogs.
I stumbled out to where my dogs foood was, feeling better all the time and chewing on my cigar which went out but was good chewing.
... I got two five gallon buckets of dog food and started stumbling my way among my dogs pouring a little food in each dog bowl. All of a sudden I stumbled and my cigar fell out of my mouth to the ground. I reached down and picked up what I thought was my cigar and put it into my mouth and started chewing it again. I thought this damn cigar was the worst tasting tobacco I had ever had in my mouth. By this time I was so drunk I had to sit one of my dog barrels. I finally stopped chewing on my cigar and took it out to see what in the hell was wrong with it.
...In my drunken state of mind when I stumbled and dropped my cigar, I had reached down and picked up one of those long dark dog turds. I had been chewing on it for a little while thinking what bad tobacco it was.
...I found an empty food can and dipped down into the dogs water bowl and started washing my mouth out as fast as I could. Never again will I try to feed my dogs when Im drinking... Damn that was bad tobacco!

signed the OLD MAN...

 

Lol, you light weight lol.

 

Lol I'm glad I don't drink. After realizing it was dog shit he started washing his mouth with water from the dogs bucket.

 

The OLD MAN said he would have licked his own ass if he could reach and it would get the dogshit taste out faster,,, lol...

 

Fu@$ing hilarious Elias Lmao!

 

Don't smoke those dog rockets! There unsanitary laying on the ground!

 

hey man,,, unsanatary or not,,, thats got IVORY in there,,, or in our case IVAhN,,, lol...

How High - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

so all you OLD MEN understand my IVORY terminology,,, funny stoner movie...

 

Lol. Funny story Ep. :lol:


I smoke cigarettes and if I am out in the dog area and my smoke drops out my mouth, it's done with, I'll pick it up and throw it in the dog shit bag. Lol I'm not picking it up and putting it back in my mouth no way. OCD and entire working career in infection control would nevery allow me to put it back in my mouth. If you have a house dog just remember, that's not a chocolate chip on the floor don't eat it. Definitely make sure the kid's know that. Lmao.


Here's one for you from my first year of getting into these dogs.

Back in 96 I went to a good friends house party and had the first real bulldog I ever owned with me Capone. Well, the guy had a cat that was put away in the basement so it didn't get outside loose as people were coming and going from the party. The litter box however, was not. It was in his 1st floor bathroom. We're drinking and having a good time not really paying much attention to what Capone was doing. He comes out chewing on some cat shit from the litter box happier than a pig in mud that sick fuck and everyone's like ewww, wtf man etc all grossed out and what not. Not, 5 minutes later, this kid we always would clown came to the party, seen Capone and was like a little girl with the dog, got down on his knees hugging on and kissing the dog saying ahhhh i love these dogs this that and the other thing, The dogs kissing him back in his face, all up in the kids mouth. Damn near tounge fucking the guy. He's just petting away laughing letting the dog lick all up in him mouth lmfao. Everyone in the living room was now staring and watching this happen full knowing that dog, not 5 minutes prior, had been eating a bunch of cat shit and they all start busting out laughing hysterically all drunk & smoked out. The kids like what? What's so funny? Like 6 people out of 20 to 25 that were in the area shouted out "That dog just ate cat shit yukmouf!" Everyone in the place started busting gut laughing. The change in the kids face when learning of this was priceless. I'll never forget the extreme and dramatic change in his facial expression from pure happiness to thourhroly grossed out.

Good times. :lol:

 

That's why I'll only pet one and wash my hands after... No facetime... Not even pups

 

Me either. Them Shits eat their crap, other animals crap and spend half the day licking their asses and the other part of the day licking their crotch. No thanks, they can keep their tongue in their mouth where it belongs. Lol.

 

Just remined me of A funney story! A while back I was playing poker downtown, bought A coffee, stepped outside saw this rich bitch with her nose in the air! She had this ugly mutt on A leash I noticed him licking his balls!!! All of A sudden she picked him up turned around to me and said my cigar stinks, while her dog was licking her face!! I replied how doe's sweaty dog balls taste!! I then said he just took A piss and licked his balls and now your busting slobs with him!! Several peo[ple who overheard just started cracking up!!! She turned red and stomped off!!

 

Nice one trotline

 

Ep who is the old man i heard of him but not sure if its same guy thanks

 

Im sure if he wanted to sign his name other than the old man,,,he would have...
Its safe to say,,, hes an old time country gentlemen that sure has a sense humor to go with his humbleness,,,
some of the best stories come from these types!!!

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Great storey AGK,,, I dont know why dogs are atrracted to other animals feces so much,,, I guess its primative...

I had an old bitch that wanted nothing else that to roll around in horse shit,,, and when you scolled her for it she would pick a good scoop up and chomp shit everywhere,,, as to say I love this sh!t!!!
She also was very friendly with horses and one inparticular that didnt like dogs much and would let them know with a swift kick sending them in the air,,, well this dog agressive horse and the sh!td!pper were best friends,,,
I think the dog liked that horses sh!t the best and befriended the source of her filthy pleasure,,, lol...

 

The OLD MAN also informed me that before his poisons were tobacco and liquor to pass the time and relieve some pains,,, he had two other vices that he gave up when he gave up conditioning dogs,,, and shared this with few...
See he lived in a day where he was also a top athlete just as his dogs,,, in which they both shared one vice,,,
their poison wasnt liquor and cigars,,, but rather... shared in part 2 of the OLD MAN series...
in which he shares his recipe of the RC & the Moonpie keep that won 99 him out of a even hundred,,, lol...

 

I kno thats his "go bye" name EP but i mean he is only one guy not just to be confused with old mountain man o just some old guy. The old man is still around or recently passed away am i right

 

...The OLD MAN series Part 2...

Its the Truth, If I ever told it!

...Yes, I like to run. When I was young I ran some almost ever day. Some Days I would get up early,
put on my running shoes and backpack and be gone all day running. In my backpack would be seven or eight
CROWN ROYAL Colas, and about ten MOONPIES. Those ROYAL CROWN Colas, better known as R.C. Colas
have more get up and go energy in them than those gator aids and those energy drinks ever had.
I could drink an RC a eat a MOONPIE or two and run for the next twenty miles!
...I didnt have a treadmill back then, so I let my dog run with me. With an average thirty five miles a day,
six days a week. We rested on sunday and were ready to go again on monday. My dog drank RC Cola and ate MOONPIEs every time I did. He was always in the best shape and I dont remember him every losing a treadmill race and he was in several.
...Now that Im getting up in years and now Im in my seventies, I still get out there and run about twenty miles a day. One day while running, I decided trying to run like I did when I was younger, (in his sixties!).
I bought a pair of those expensive two hundred dollar air jordan running shoes, came home out them on and
started running. My trusty old dog couldnt hardly keep up with me. We ran that thirty five mile corse I ran when I was young, I was so exausted I could hardly stand, so I sat down opened up my backpack, took out two RC Colas and two MOONPIEs and ate both of them and drank both the RC Colas.You wont believe how refreshing and reviving those two RCs and MOONPIEs were.
...When my dog and I got back home, I laid down and slept for about thirty minutes. It did me a world of good,
so I went to my weight room, my dog always with me, and started lifting weights. Right now Im only bench pressing six hundred even, but Im working on getting up to six hundred and fifty pounds, my dog is only pulling one and a half ton about thirty feet. He has won about twelve weight pulling contest and about twenty something treadmill races. I just wish they were contract races though, he would be a QUADRUPLE GRANDCHAMPION, wouldnt that be something. He only weighs about forty eight pond or something and I think thats pretty good for a dog of that size.
...Those professional dogmushers up there in Alaska have been calling me everyday, offering big money,
wanting to buy him to team up with their sled pulling dogs, But I dont think Ill sell him as he doesnt get along too well with other dogs.
...Now you all may think Im just shooting the bull in what Ive said here but...
ITS THE TRUTH IF I EVER TOLD IT!
Have a good day!... signed...The OLD MAN...

 

Not the OLD MAN on the MOUNTAIN,,,
NOT the good fellow RAGE,,,
thats signs his name the OLD MAN on this site,,,
87 BUICK might know him as the SCHOOLTEACHER in eastern carolina and also might know he isnt a lightweight...
but not to be confused with the SCHOOLTEACHER RH of the mid west that wrote the crappy pitdog savior book...

Please keep his name out as he still enjoys a good days work out and has since made it to his goal,,,
as a young boy he wanted to bench a hundred pounds more every century,,, and as ten year old boy pushing up a hundred pounds,,, he knew he might be the first hundred year OLD MAN to bench a thousand pounds,,,
plus his dogs pushing twenty five years old and picked up more forfeit races out pacing them into pickups!!!

 

I loved those RC Cola , my thing was peanuts and a RC.Like the moonpies to.

 

...the salt and sugar counter each other for a nice balance!!!
... fried peanuts and sweet tea are something I miss about eastern carolina...