Diary of a pommie in south australia

DIARY OF A POMMIE IN SOUTH AUSTRALIA

August 31 - Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new home
in Adelaide, South Australia. Now this is a town that knows how to
live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. I watched the
sunset from a deckchair by the pool yesterday. It was beautiful. I've
finally found my new home. I love it here.

September 13 - Really heating up now. It got to 31 today. No problem
though. Living in air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a
sun-worshipper.

September 30th - Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants
today. Lots of palms and rocks. No more mowing lawns for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.

October 10th - The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do
people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's windy though.
Keeps the flies off a bit. Acclimatizing is taking longer than I
expected.
October 15th - Fell asleep by the pool yesterday. Got third degree burns
over 60% of my body. Missed three days of work. What a dumb thing to do!
Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

October 20th - Didn't notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car
before I left for work this morning. By the time I got back to the car
after work, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag
and stuck to the upholstery. The car now smells like Whiskettes and cat
sh*t. I've earned my lesson though: no more pets in this heat.

October 25 - This wind is a b*stard. It feels like a giant f***in' blow
dryer. And it's hot as hell! The home air conditioner is on the blink
and the repair man charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needs
to order parts from f***in' Perth....

October 30th - The temperature's up around 40 and the parts still
haven't arrived for the f***in' aircon. Been sleeping outside by the
pool for three nights now. Bloody $600,000 house and we can't even go
inside. Why the hell did I ever come here?

November 4 - Finally got the ol' aircon fixed. It cost $1,500 and gets
the temperature down to around 25 degrees, but the humidity makes it
feel about 30. Stupid repairman.

November 8 - If one more smart arse says 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm
going to f***in' throttle him. F***in' heat! By the time I get to work,
the car's radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking f***in' wet
and I smell like baked cat!

November 9 Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat on
the black leather upholstery in the ol' car. I thought my f***in' arse
was on fire. I lost two layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs of my
legs and my f***in' arse. Now the car smells like burnt hair, fried arse
and baked cat!

November 10 - Weather report! It might as well be a f***in' recording.
Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny, Hot and f***in' sunny! It's been too hot
to do anything for two f***in' months and the weatherman says it might
really warm up next week.

November 15 - Doesn't it ever rain in this damn f***in' place? Water
restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry up
and blow into the f***in' pool. The only things that thrive in this
hell-hole are the f***in' flies. You don't dare open your mouth for fear
of swallowing half a dozen of the f***ers!

November 20th - Welcome to HELL! It got to 45 f***in' degrees today. Now
the air conditioner's gone in my car.. The repair man came to fix it and
said, 'Hot enough for you today?' I had to spend the $2,500 mortgage
payment to bail me out of jail for assaulting the stupid f***er. F***in'
Adelaide! What kind of sick, demented f***in' idiot would want to live
here!

December 1 -
WHAT!!!!
The first day of Summer!!!!
You are f***in' kidding!

 

" What kind of sick, demented f***in' idiot would want to live
here!"

me and I farkin love it, man up you pommy b*stard! lol

 

LMAO! nice find mate

 

November 20th - Welcome to HELL!

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAH

 

try walking ye dogs in fecking torrential rain 50 weeks out of the year....ye soon would mind a "crisp n dry" type of day lol....

 

hahahahahahhahahahahaha

that shit is funny

thanks

 

Rebs thats fucking gold mate, considering i was brought up there and the reason i moved to Queensland was five weeks straight of 45c weather. bad thing is ive stayed away for two years and now im going back for christmas, IM GONNA FRY!