How a marriage works

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies .

So, he said to his new wife, 'Honey, I'll be right back.'

'Where are you going, coochy cooh?' asked the wife.

'I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I' m going to have a beer.'

The wife said, 'You want a beer, my love?'

She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan ,India ,etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, 'Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses...'

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying,

'You want a frozen glass, puppy face?'

She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, 'Yes, tootsie roll, but at the Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't belong, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?'

You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?' She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

'But my sweet honey... At the bar... You know...there's swearing, dirty words and all that...'


'You want dirty words, Dickhead? Drink your f***ing beer in your Goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherf***ing snacks, because you are Married now, and you aren't f***ing going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?'


........and, they lived happily ever after.

 

LOL!

not mine, told her if she went crazy after the wedding id kick her ass to the curb and not think twice.

she has been a good girl

 

yea tried that with mine... needless to say i drink at home now... in my own bar behind the house...:eek:

 

He shouldve said yes dear...then called the boys over! "Baby Ill stay home, but the party comes with me." Give her an inch and she'll take a mile, give her 8" and she'll take a nap.

 

Bring youre friends over offten enuf...and she will be begging you to go to the bar.

 

Exactamundo!

 

roflmao!! that's some of the funniest sh*t i've heard right there. Mind if I pass it on Marty?

 

I don't care, be my guest

 

LMAO, Marriage works?..lol

 

lol thats some funny stuff

 

HAHAHAAA.. that is great!!

 

they better pass gun laws, knife laws,and blunt object laws because i am not letting anyone of those douche bags near my dog."
^^^^^ I love this signature lol^^^^
Did you coin it Ewwies

 

no waitinformytime did!! haha i love it