Teens Arrested After Filming "pit bulls" killing A Cat.

Re: Teens Arrested After Filming "pit bulls" killing A Cat.

Agree...
My Parents and I are friends, but they were always Parents first.

 

Re: Teens Arrested After Filming "pit bulls" killing A Cat.

I am friends with my dad too. But he sure was my dad first. He still is and I respect that. But we are both old men now. He is just older. lol

 

Re: Teens Arrested After Filming "pit bulls" killing A Cat.

Ha ha ha ha... I like to call it "debating" not arguing. I enjoy having an open mind to all things, so I will always respect a different oppinion from a respectable person. I like our contrast... I have been extra fiesty lately, been injured and have some hormones flaring. I do well the way I do things here. I have plenty of respect for your grandparents, even though their methods are not mine, they did it out of love, and I imagine you were a hell of a boy to deal with! lol I don't think the root of children's current disprespect is due to spanking. You can compare kids now a days to 40 years ago, and the entire society is different. Spanking is a tiny fraction of it. As things change so do methods. But I have the utmost respect to any parent who diciplines soley to teach, not out of anger, or to make themselves look good. Men may be more stern to the boys, I try to be a father and a mother in one. I adapt.

 

Re: Teens Arrested After Filming "pit bulls" killing A Cat.

This is also why most people most likely love your kids and you as well. I know from listening to you, I probably would!

 

Re: Teens Arrested After Filming "pit bulls" killing A Cat.

The parents who I see as the issue aren't even that. They are so focused on themselves, they don't even know what their kids homework looks like, or how they've been feeling. If you don't even have that connection, you won't even know what the kids been up to until you get a call from the authorities.

I know far too many parents who go to the bar every chance they get, while cursing at their kids the next morning because they have a hang over.

I used to "not like" kids who were annoying or disrespectful and want to slap them... but since having my own, the instant I see one of them, I feel sorry for them and get angry at the parents. They don't even notice because they are so self centered, or they'll play the victim role, as if they were cursed when we all know what it takes to make babies.

 

Re: Teens Arrested After Filming "pit bulls" killing A Cat.

Awww, thanks I like to think of them as a better, new-improved version of myself... or at least they will be. I think of things that my parents could have done to make me better, and do them. They are my favorite project... so when they grow up and move out, I better have a farm with a big kennel and lots of pups or something, because I won't know what to do with myself... I'll be a crazy-mad woman... almost like a female version of Attila.

 

Re: Teens Arrested After Filming "pit bulls" killing A Cat.

LOL...crazy girl!
It really is too bad more parents weren't like yourself, might be a better place.

 

Re: Teens Arrested After Filming "pit bulls" killing A Cat.

Good point, too many parents have their own agenda in mind instead of their kids, and then they make excuses. "Little Johnny had a bad day and he's tired thats why he is screaming his head off in the middle of the movie theatre" My question is, if little Johnny is tired why isn't his butt in bed? And then the older kids I think are left unsupervised with no structure way too often...you know the old saying "Idle hands are the devils workshop" If a kid is going to school, participating in sports, held accountable for homework and chores, they shouldn't have time to get in trouble. I also agree that there are many levels of discipline and the punishment should fit the deed. My mom knocked the dust off us for any and everything, she used flip flops, a belt, a wooden spoon, anything she had. After a while it became meaningless to get a whipping from her and I lost all respect for her in the process. My father on the other hand gave me exactly two whippings my whole life and the second one was because I was stupid enough to slam a door in his face at 14 and I obviously forgot about the first one. To this day, I shut doors very quietly. And I have alot of respect for my father.

 

Re: Teens Arrested After Filming "pit bulls" killing A Cat.

See thats where I draw the line.....
I very much believe in a good butt whoopin, but that is absurd. My sister was like a long time ago with her kids, shit pissed me off so bad, she would go around slapping them up side their head and "hitting" them with anything she could get her nappy little hands on. A belt (what my dad used), a wooden spoon (what my mom used) or a hand. I see nothing more appropriate than those. I think if my mom had hit me with a flip flop, or anything should find with in reach, I'd have hit her back! My brother in law uses a switch and worst part of the punishment is having to get your own, thats not too bad either, but this other crap is crazy. I do not have kids, but I have raised for 12 years my other sisters kids, i raised them tpretty much the way I was I was raised, but when it came to spanking them, it didn't do any good. They didn't care, the hurt went right away. It took me a very SHORT time to realize this. decided their punishment would be more like "I am dissappointed in you and you do not deserve ......? for the way you have been acting" That did not phase them in the least. Their response was "whatever" "oh well". So i then once again changed my method. Now their punishment was that like boot camp. They were made to sit on the wall for a certain amount of time, if they were to move or drop, they were given extra time. I tell you what, with those kids, nothing in this world could have, would have or to this very day will work.
They turned out to be pretty good kids; until their parents came back and let them do whatever they wanted....all of that discipline and structure down the drain, I can no longer tolorate being around them. They are very good when i am around, and their parents are not, but when it is the both of us..........another story!
Not all kids should have the discipline, they all react towards it differently.
but this shoe thing and whatever else ....could find, makes me want to hit back!

 

Re: Teens Arrested After Filming "pit bulls" killing A Cat.

And thats exactly what happened, by the time we were teenagers all hell broke loose between us and our crazy mother...you can only be abused for so long. As it stands now only one of the four of us kids even speaks to her.

There is a big difference between abuse and discipline...some parents are afraid to discipline for fear it will be labeled as abuse, and some parents abuse in the name of discipline.

 

Re: Teens Arrested After Filming "pit bulls" killing A Cat.

OK guys, I'm going to try to catch up here ... I usually have to sign off at 6:30 when hubby comes home. Family time then!

Anyhoo ... I do not have any kids of my own. But I do have 2 stepsons.

How do I klnow most children are ill-behaved? Because I see them in public every day - at Wally World, resturants, grocery stores, wherever. They're virtually everywhere & if you see ill behaved kids day in, day out; week in, week out; year in, year out behaving ill in many different venues, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out there are more ill behaved kids then are are well behaved kids.

As for the Proverbs I quoted to you - Christians believe that the Bible is the Word of God. God created our kids & He would never recommend we do anything that would do permanent harm. He created our kids & he knows what works best for any situtation concerning our kids.

Also, as a side note, the Bible does not advocate disciplining your child w/ a broom handle. From what I understand "rod" is more accurately translated as "reedlike rod" which would me something like a switch or wooden spoon.

As for the "pain & fear" in a child's eyes when they are fixing to get a spanking, it tears at an adult's heart strings. But we do it for the betterment of the child. If we do not discipline them for misbehaviour & use a convincing, strong motivator for that discipline, the child will be learning much, much harder lessons (such as don't drop the soap!) in juvee hall or in prison. I'd rather my kid suffer the flirting & relatively minor pain of a spanking then endure the permamant emotional & physical scars from abuse found in correctional facilities.

And yes, you are right our world as a whole was different 40 years ago. 40 years ago you could spank a misbehaving kid & no one would blink an eye. Now if you spank a misbehaving kid, some mealy-mouthed wimp calls children's services on you for "abuse." As a result, many parents are scared to discipline their own kids & kids run amok like packs of wolves doing awful things like these kids did.

And I also agree there are some parents who take spanking too far. Spanking is one thing, beating another. No child should be abused & spankings if misused or misapplied will one day become useless.

Of course however, most parents stop spanking once their kids hit a certain age. My parents stopped spanking me when I was 12. Then after that they used the withholding method that you use Riptora, or they'd find distasteful things for me to do, like write a "I will not" sentence 300 x or make me sit at attention staring at a picture of my brother for 12 hours.

However, when I was tempted to do something I should not do, the withholding punishment or the distasteful method punishment often did NOT deter me from doing what I wanted to do. It was the thought of "If I do this, momma is gonna turn me inside out!" Now THAT deterred me!

And if it weren't for that strong deterrent that was planted in my mind, I might have got knocked up at 15, been a welfare leech high school drop out w/ 5 kids right now instead of having to gone on to be an a high school grad who served honorably in the U.S. Air Force in both Korea & the Middle East, an Outstanding Performer of the 7th Air Force, a winner of the Air Force Achivement medal twice & a productive member of society.

IMO spanking are an excellent tool for a parent. Yea, some others might not like it, but we don't knock you for your new-age methods, so we shouldn't be knocked for using methods that were handed down to us by our Creator & have been used w/ much success for thousands of years.

And as a side note - where did this parents as friends thing come in?? My parents were never my friends. My parents were my parents, that's all. We only became "friends" after I moved out of the house.

OK, I think I'm done now ... lol ...

 

Re: Teens Arrested After Filming "pit bulls" killing A Cat.

ooops....I meant to say that not all kids should have the SAME discipline...sorry it was early!

 

Re: Teens Arrested After Filming "pit bulls" killing A Cat.

This is what is wrong with my sister and her kids....
She tries to be their "FRIEND" before being their "PARENT"
My goodness her kids are a riot of a mess. 14 smoking drinking, turning tricks to get dope, stealing from whoever is available. Running in a dope mob circle...and sister doesn't understand why?! All the while she will sit with her and LET her have a cig, or something more.....you all know what I mean, just so sister isn't all alone doing it by herself. Sick shit!

 

Re: Teens Arrested After Filming "pit bulls" killing A Cat.

Sounds like My Brother and mother till he got strait. He said it was either get his shit together or kill me for constantly giving him shit about it. Said I was worse than any Cop or Preacher and that I was relentless about it. I thought I was being quite nice about it actually. Now he is a good church goer and has his life strait. I had coustody for two years of him. Caught him smoking pot with some 23 year old woman when he was 16 and took him back to his mother and had her tossed in jail. He said he was so scared I was going to kill him that day and that it haunted him every day that he upset and hurt me so much. I know I was mad and exploded. I didn't touch him though. But I tossed that naked stoned chick out the door. I was so pissed off. do some stupid crap in my house on Base. Shit could have gotten me tossed out of the Army for something like that going on. Mother, well she is still stoned out of her mind and I don't have any thing to do with her. It took years of constant diligence from some and God himself had to touch that boys head. I about gave up. She ruined her own life and nearly his too. I remember her once trying to tell me to do drugs because beer would be bad for me. Like a record broke and screeched in my head. Do what! There are some bats loose in that cage. I look at her and how my brother was going. If I wasn't the asshole he may be on that same road to nothing as her. She can call me asshole all she wants but I wanted that boy to turn out into something better than what he was raised in. I could have chosen the same path I suppose. But I have and never had the desire to even try it. I knew one basic thing back then. I was not going to be any thing like her. What ever she was I made damn sure I was not or the opposite of. Most kids just fall in there like my brother tried to do and go with what the parents do. His dad was nothing a looser drug dealer than died in prison. He didn't have role models other than the one I tried to set when I was near him. I was only living with mother a few years after he was born. It sure would have been easier for him if she was strait and set boundries. It is one thing to mess your own life up but to include a child is abuse. Especially if the world you put before them is corrupt in every way.

So these folks like here and like my brother was are the ones that get dogs and don't raise them up right. And those people need to be punished for it.

 

Re: Teens Arrested After Filming "pit bulls" killing A Cat.

Yeah, I've met a few kids who had parents that wanted to be their "friend." Those kids usually did drugs &/or alcohol, were promiscious, dropped out of school, etc.

I will say though, when I was 18 my dad told me that if i ever wanted to experiment w/ drugs to do it at the house w/ him. He said it'd be safer, he didn't want me driving high or to have a bad trip & not have anyone there to talk me down. I had the same record screech Attila had. First off, you don't tell someone that. Second off, getting high w/ your parents??? That's just plain weird.

 

Re: Teens Arrested After Filming "pit bulls" killing A Cat.

ABK-nice post. I like it. I want to point out though that you may notice all these naughty kids in public, because the good kids are too busy being good, and probably are overlooked far too much. I mean, the loud, obnoxious people get more attention, and one bad apple leaves an impression. Just like if someone met a dozen good APBT's, but only remembers that one ill mannered one. But I don't know, I personally see a lot of good kids, a lot more than bad.

Like parenting as a whole, I make it a strong point to point out to my kids when they are being good more than when they are not. It keeps it posative, trains them to do what they should be doing, and it works much better. Like the dog training example... In "clicker" training, over time the dog realizes it is being trained and has to trial and error to get the desired behavior for the click. A workshop demonstrated that posative/encouragement was much more effective than detering the dog. So they picked a person and had them stand in the room, pretending to be the dog. Everyone else knew what the desired behavior was (like sit in the chair near the window, or something) They tried the clicker method, which gives a posative effect to when the person was doing something right. They would get a click when they were getting warm, and they figured out what to do within a short time. The other person recieved no clicks, instead they were told, "No" for getting cold, and doing something wrong. That person became frustrated and eventually gave up. I thought it was a cool workshop-experiment-thing, and it is true even for me. I will work much harder knowing with encouragement than punishment. Although, if I do something wrong and I should have known better, I get mine too... not from my mom, but in some other way.

I wasn't friends with my parents until I moved out either... lol, but they were never much for dicipline either, they were the kind that pretended they didn't know what was going on, or they ignored it. Lots of parents like that... but they are still good people.

 

Re: Teens Arrested After Filming "pit bulls" killing A Cat.

When I was younger and more stupid I used to think parents like that were cool. I think it's disgusting now. My ex's father smoked pot and all nine yards with his sons, but yet gets angry when they end up losers, and of course they are both junkies now. I wonder why?

 

Re: Teens Arrested After Filming "pit bulls" killing A Cat.

I think it's disgusting too.

And it is strange that one would do things like smoke pot w/ their kids & wonder why their kids didn't turn out. Duh. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. Maybe too much pot frazzled your ex's dad's brain.

 

Re: Teens Arrested After Filming "pit bulls" killing A Cat.

He also pretty much taught them that the goverment is evil, blah blah "babalon", yet, he'de collect welfare for his son who lived with him in a school bus (the son was not a top priority). Taught his sons how to grow pot too. But wouldn't walk down the carpet with him when he graduated Highschool, was the only kid to walk alone. Such a prick! His son's can't even hold a job, they had no future from the get go. His father raised them, hit them when he felt like he was teaching them something, but what did they ever learn from him? Nothing... and although I know people can come from bad places and make themselves right, I can completely see why they turned out the way they did. Their whole lives were a joke.

 

Re: Teens Arrested After Filming "pit bulls" killing A Cat.

It's too bad really. In ways, those kids never had a shot in life.

Also, I forgot to add ... you are right in that good kids can be overlook sometimes b/c they ARE overshadowed by obnoxious brats. But if I see a kid who is acting well, I do make a point to go over & tell the parent what a well-behaved child they have & thank them for it. I make sure to do this in front of the child BTW. That way both the parent & the child get a warm fuzzy for the kid's good behaviour.

As for your "clicker" example, you are forgetting two things - firstly, we were TOLD was was wrong. We didn't have to figure it out. It was made crystal clear that XYZ would = spanking. Secondly, those who spank do not focus on spanking alone. Just as we discipline for bad behaviour, we reward good behaviour as well.