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Happy Stimulus Day!

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by The Teflon Don, Feb 17, 2009.

  1. The Teflon Don

    The Teflon Don Big Dog

  2. KuttersKru

    KuttersKru Top Dog

    Can O' Worms: You're gonna open it, lol
  3. The Teflon Don

    The Teflon Don Big Dog

    Just callin' it how I see it...it's all I know how to do :)
  4. tommy3

    tommy3 CH Dog

    That cartoon is right on.
  5. DMMK

    DMMK Big Dog

    That Cartoon couldn't be more right.......
  6. The Teflon Don

    The Teflon Don Big Dog

    "Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value -- zero."
    -- Voltaire
  7. Nikita

    Nikita Big Dog

    LOL so ture
  8. TripleJ

    TripleJ CH Dog

    This is how this will work.Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House.
    > One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from
    > Minnesota.
    > All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The
    > Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring,
    > then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the
    > job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100
    > profit for me."
    > The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then
    > says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew
    > and $100 profit for me."
    > The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the
    > White House official and whispers, "$2,700."
    > The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the
    > other guy
    > s! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
    > The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and
    > we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."
    > "Done!" replies the government official.
    > And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work.
    Thats how I see it!
  9. The Teflon Don

    The Teflon Don Big Dog

    Shortly after class, an economics student approaches his economics professor and says, "I don't understand this stimulus bill. Can you explain it to me?"

    The professor replied, "I don't have any time to explain it at my office, but
    if you come over to my house on Saturdayand help me with my weekend project, I'll be glad to explain it to you." The student agreed.

    At the agreed-upon time, the student showed up at the professor's house. The professor stated that the weekend project involved his backyard pool.

    They both went out back to the pool, and the professor handed the student a bucket. Demonstrating with his own bucket, the professor said, "First, go over to the deep end, and fill your bucket with as much water as you can." The student did as he was instructed.

    The professor then continued, "Follow me over to the shallow end, and then dump all the water from your bucket into it." The student was naturally confused, but did as he was told.

    The professor then explained they were going to do this many more times, and began walking back to the deep endof the pool.

    The confused student asked, "Excuse me, but why are we doing this?"

    The professor matter-of-factly stated that he was trying to make the shallow end much deeper.

    The student didn't think the economics professor was serious, but figured that he would find out the real story soon enough.

    However, after the 6th trip between the shallow end and the deep end, the student began to become worried that his economics professor had gone mad. The student finally replied, "All we're doing is wasting valuable time and effort on unproductive pursuits. Even worse, when this process is all over, everything will be at the same level it was before, so all you'll really have accomplished is the destruction of what could have been truly productive action!"

    The professor put down his bucket and replied with a smile, "Congratulations. You now understand the stimulus bill."
  10. The Teflon Don

    The Teflon Don Big Dog

    When reading this, keep in mind the stimulus package was damn near A TRILLION dollars :eek:

    The next time you hear a politician use the

    word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about

    whether you want the 'politicians' spending

    YOUR tax money.

    A billion is a difficult number to comprehend,

    but one advertising agency did a good job of

    putting that figure into some perspective in

    one of it's releases.

    A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

    B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

    C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.

    D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

    E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.

    While this thought is still fresh in our brain...

    let's take a look at New Orleans ...

    It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division.

    Louisiana Senator,

    Mary Landrieu (D)

    is presently asking Congress for


    to rebuild New Orleans . Interesting number...

    what does it mean?


    Well... if you are one of the 484,674 residents of New Orleans

    (every man, woman, and child)

    you each get $516,528.


    Or... if you have one of the 188,251 homes in

    New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787.


    Or... if you are a family of four,

    your family gets $2,066,012.

    Washington, D. C.


    Are all your calculators broken??

    Accounts Receivable Tax

    Building Permit Tax

    CDL License Tax

    Cigarette Tax

    Corporate Income Tax

    Dog License Tax

    Federal Income Tax

    Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)

    Fishing License Tax

    Food License Tax

    Fuel Permit Tax

    Gasoline Tax

    Gift Tax

    Hunting License Tax

    Inheritance Tax

    Inventory Tax

    IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)

    IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)

    Liquor Tax

    Luxury Tax

    Marriage License Tax

    Medicare Tax

    Property Tax

    Real Estate Tax

    Service charge taxes

    Social Security Tax

    Road Usage Tax (Truckers)

    Recreational Vehicle Tax

    Sales Tax

    School Tax

    State Income Tax

    State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)

    Telephone Federal Excise Tax

    Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax

    Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax

    Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax

    Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax Telephone State and Local Tax

    Telephone Usage Charge Tax

    Utility Tax

    Vehicle License Registration Tax

    Vehicle Sales Tax

    Watercraft Registration Tax

    Well Permit Tax

    Workers Compensation Tax


    Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago...

    and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.

    We had absolutely no national debt...

    We had the largest middle class in the world... and Mom stayed home to raise the kids .

    What happened?

    Can you spell 'politicians!'

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