a paper im writing for school its just a rough draft

THE HISTORY OF APBTS (AMERICAN PITBULL TERRIERS)
The most feared of breeds are the APBT (American Pitbull Terrier),this dog’s history is a famous one but a bloody one at the same time .It’s origin is really unknown some says it comes from England and was brought to America others say it’s from Spain , but who knows?
It’s one of the oldest most purest breeds of America it was created by crossing terriers and bull dogs some say the extinct white terrier and the first old English bull dogs were crossed to make the APBT others say its descended from the SPANISH ALAUNT an old Spanish breed . As time grew on people started dogfighting a popular sport where they put two dogs in a pit and let them fight. They started making their own lines of pitbulls for instance (Colby, Sorrel, Red boy, Jeep, and Eli ) are famous pitbull blood lines. Soon the sport was banned but it didn’t delete the breed like the government wanted.
As the modern day grew on dedicated dog men didn’t stop this sport they believed the only way to preserve its gameness was to keep the fighting spirit in them .But people than went the legal way by letting the dogs weight pull and other sports that required gameness like boar hunting.
Pit bulls were bred to be dog aggressive and not human aggressive if it bit a human it would instantly be culled in other words killed so it wouldn’t contaminate the blood of the other dogs. But then the American bully a mixture of bull dogs and mastiffs and the apbt came along and gave the apbt a bad rep most of the attacks people claim pitbulls did are really American bullies this apbt look alike these back yard bred dogs messed up the faithful loyal breed called the apbt .
The pitbull is one of the most famous breeds in the world from starring in the little rascals Pete, their faithful pet was a pitbull to sergeant stubby a pitbull who served with the 102nd infantry, assigned to the 26th (Yankee) Division in world war 1 he is the most decorated army dog of all time, he is the only dog to be nominated for rank and then promoted to sergeant through combat.
As you see this breed history is full of surprises

 

Seems like a decent start, few things need cleaning up. Like is here reading would know what the bully did to the "rep" of the real bulldogs. But you'd probably want to use the full word for your paper


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good point

 

You might try using Grammarly.com if you want, to help you with editing. My class uses it sometimes, and finds it helpful.
IMO, not as a teacher, but as an APBT owner, I would change your paragraph about the bully. The bully is relatively recent, but there has been a lot of changes to the APBT before the bully came onto the scene. So I would break it into two paragraphs, one about the changes in how many APBT were bred, and the beginning of BSL, and then one about the current trends with the bully.
What grade are you in?

 

im in the 12th grade this paper isn't really my actual paper just ideas and rough draft my actual report is 12 pages long I wasn't really tryna be perfect on this I was just jotting down what I might put in my paper

 

pit bull=TWO words....TDK brought up some good points/tips, as well. good luck

 

T has good advice. A good reference to look into about history would be the colby book. Id say your on the right track, good luck kid.

 

...yep drop the negs about any bully breeds....like pit bulls are far from been demons as the media portrays,in fact they are just dogs...etc/etc..g-luck .........(bet this will get some going..lol)

 

If there is a oral part of your paper/report be sure to prepare yourself to answer all there questions. For example if someone asks you if its cruel to let 2 dogs fight will you be prepared to answer it?

 

of course im prepared for that its what they were bred to do so I have mixed feelings about it

 

..what some are saying...is that any+all breeds will cock there leg on street corners.....if ya have mixed feelings give it plenty of taught and go on what you think......

 

DONT WRITE A SCHOOL PAPER ABOUT GAMEDOGS!!!!!!!!! You need YEARS of experience AND a DOCTORATE to halfway credible .... As a high school student, and a lil defensive as you have been on here at times, I would say don do it... The questions come about YOUR dogs, would you do this or that, teachers talking... Think about the big picture of the dogs. Not everybody is ready to hear even a part of the truth. It's hard enough when strangers judge you on your dog alone. Your doing to give them some type of incite on how you perceive gamedogs by the way you word your paper. Speaking of which, definitely clean up those grammatical errors.

 

I couldn't edit my post quick enough. Things like the "It's one of the oldest most purest" run on sentence gotta go. That sentence alone is about a 3 or 4 way collision

 

well sorry I'm on here but adults are not the only ones who can care about this breed and like I said before this isn't the actual paper just a rough draft mostly ideas my actual paper is 12pages long it's a research paperback writing so I'm writing about something that I actually wanna learn about so if you have a problem without than I'm sorry

 

research...good on you....kid.....

 

What he is saying is that you have to take into consideration the reaction to others if this is an oral report. Do you have the knowledge to defend the breed properly? Are you ready for the backlash that may come? Why do you have mixes feelings about why and what these dogs were bred to do?


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..if you love these/your dog....think about all the positives about your dog,,and tell them that he ain't a bad dog,,just a dog/etc....like any other persons dog/breed......keep it simple....if theres something your not sure about leave it alone.....

 

EXACTLY!! Take no offense to this statement.. I don't know you or care to, BUT... I love these dogs!!! I knew about "pit bulldogs" as a youth in elementary and middle school. I developed "the bug" in high school. I read EVERYTHING I COULD FIND about these dogs. Read the Stratton books, Scemenic (sp?) books, I was ALWAYS on Lawless Pit bull links!! I called the "best" breeders at the time (I thought), aka most talked about. Yea I know I know, I was young. I talked with Lou Colby a couple times, Waccamaw when they still had Big John, Ca Jack who wasn't that bad then, can't remember the others but if they had a website with a phone number, I was callin just to talk lol... My point is... LEARN BEFORE YOU TRY TO TEACH. Do you REALLY know enough about the APBT to write about the history? We all have our opinions and we manifest them even when we think we don't! Your paper will tell more about you than you think. I'm just saying be ready for possible backlash. College is a better place to write about something like that. Even then BE CAREFUL!! BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING AND WAITING!! Lol shit is real