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MMK
04-30-2004, 01:13 AM
Monday, April 12, 2:39 PM PST

Toddlers Attack, Kill Pit Bull

by Tucker H. Johnson (http://aeforge.com/aeforum/forumdisplay.php?s=&forumid=25),
NA!P NewsWire

DENVER, Colo -- In a scene that seems to be playing out with growing regularity across the nation, three toddlers attacked and killed a pit bull yesterday afternoon. It was the seventh child attack on a pit bull in as many months in the Denver Metro area.

http://www.noapologiespress.com/newnews/images/babyattack.jpgMaggie Hindler was walking her four-year-old pit bull, Max, in Washington Park around 3:00 PM when the three toddlers appeared out of nowhere and immediately began attacking her dog. Hindler says that she and Max did nothing to provoke the toddlers and that she didn't even see them until they were almost on top of her dog.

"We were just walking along," a visibly-shaken Hindler recalled. "We weren't doing anything. And suddenly, these little kids shot out of these bushes and attacked Max. He was helpless."

Hindler and several other bystanders tried to pull the toddlers off of max, without luck. Kent Randolph was one of the bystanders who tried to help Hindler, and he concedes that it was almost impossible to get the kids to stop their attack.

"I tried screaming at them, hitting them with sticks, prying at their jaws," Randolph said. "Nothing worked. They would turn and start to go at us for a second but then would immediately go back to attacking the dog. And you know how it is with them. Once they get their teeth into something, they just don't let go. Their little jaws are so strong."

Denver County passed an ordinance in 2001, banning the ownership of toddlers entirely. Anyone caught owning a toddler in Denver is subject to a $1000 fine and up to a year in jail. The toddlers are confiscated and are either euthanized at Denver Children's Hospital or sold for medical research.

"We have been telling the community about toddlers for years," Dr. Sally Jacobs, Chief of Child Psychology at Denver Children's Hospital, told The New News. "But a large part of the community doesn't listen. The facts are clear: Humans have been bread for centuries to do nothing by maim and kill. It's in their genes, in their nature, and nothing is going to change that. Not a good home or a loving family. That is why Denver outlawed toddlers several years ago. They are simply too dangerous to have in our community."

Thursday's scene is fairly typical of recent toddler attacks. At some point, the toddlers come together as a pack and end up in a place well-traveled by people and their dogs. They attack with little or no warning. They don't have collars, but they often have several juice boxes in their possession.

Denver police showed up on the scene shortly after the attack and were forced to kill the toddlers when they turned on police. Unfortunately, it was too late for poor Max. Needless to say, Hindler is just angry.

"Who can be so irresponsible to raise these things?" she said. "I mean, what if these toddlers had attacked another person? Or a cat?"

Lt. Steve Halfy of the Denver Police Department said that while they could not immediately identify the owner of the toddlers, they were following several leads.

"We'll find out whose kids these are, and we'll bring them to justice. This just sickens me. How many more dogs are going to have to die before people realize that these toddlers are killers, plain and simple."




red_light
04-30-2004, 01:45 AM
just curious but, what is a Toddler? i'am sure it isn't babies right?

rocksteady
04-30-2004, 07:36 AM
Darn Toddlers!! Little crum snatchers..Them and their drool!!

I laughed so hard I cried!! Thanks for that MMK!!
Rocksteady

J M A N
04-30-2004, 09:07 AM
I'm not sure if I want to Laugh or Cry!?

3BK
04-30-2004, 10:38 AM
I'm not sure if I want to Laugh or Cry!?


:D :D :D :rolleyes: ;) :eek: :eek: :D :o :p :D :D :rolleyes: :eek: :o :( :D :D :D :D

puregame
05-03-2004, 10:56 AM
LOL!! That's too funny. Beware the killer toddlers!!!
:D
:D
:p

Crash97
08-25-2004, 05:24 PM
Thanks MMK for the post, I for one will be getting rid of our two toddlers. I've got 5 pits, and there's no way I'm gonna put them in jeopardy by allowing the toddlers to remain here. If only more people were aware of the dangers of toddlers. TSL (Toddler Specific Legislation) is the only solution to this tragic phenomenon.

Marty
05-30-2005, 02:39 PM
Just read this again thought some new people might enjoy it lol

korrey
05-30-2005, 03:04 PM
It's a guy here that has three toddlers. Guess that makes him a toddler fighter!!!!

nappydawg
05-30-2005, 03:27 PM
thanks that was so funny
all you toddler breeders had better watch out lol they may come tear your yard apart lol

Bluepit50
05-30-2005, 07:03 PM
I don't know, I think its the owner responsibility, I mean why were those toddlers running aroung loose and without leashes??? Also they should know that the only way to loosen a toddlers bite is with a toddler stick, everyone knows that. It's not the toddler its the parents!!!!!!!!! I've met plenty toddlers that won't attack anyone, you just have to train and socialize them.

Some of these daycare centers are just fronts for toddler fighting. There were 2 pitbulls in my neighbor that went missing last week, they were found barely alive mangled, police said they were stolen and used as bait dogs for the toddlers to attack. Ever since the movie CHUCKY I don't let my pitbulls near any toddlers!!!!!!!!

thablacksheep
05-30-2005, 08:10 PM
your silly as hell bluepitt50

jawbones
05-30-2005, 09:58 PM
This is hilarious. A much needed post.

Rockstar
05-30-2005, 10:58 PM
Damn, it's been a long time since I've laughed this hard! Blue, you're funny as hell!

CB
05-30-2005, 11:03 PM
man i had to read that 3 times because i didnt read any reply's and jsut didnt get it so i looked at some of the reply's now i see its a joke. Man i feel pretty dumb right now i was going to do a research on these "toddlers" haha nice post though.

14rock
05-31-2005, 09:45 AM
^ Ha! I loved that......great laugh. LMAO

GD2
05-31-2005, 11:25 AM
That Was Weird At First I Was All What The Hell Did Not Get It. Bye The End I Was Lol.

mike333
08-16-2005, 12:26 AM
evil little bastards glad I aint got no toddlers.It confused me for a min.but it was funnylol.

DryCreek
08-16-2005, 07:23 AM
Use extreme caution when approaching these toddlers.Keep your eyes open and on the lookout for playpens,baby bottles and jumpers,a sure sign of a toddler ring.Contact your local authorities,do not approach.
Sign of impending attacks-
excess vocalizing or cooing
drool puddles
abandoned diapers
Good luck citizens....

fyremyst
08-16-2005, 02:42 PM
Signs of toddler fighting clubs
jumping swings, playpens, empty juiceboxes in the yard,dirty clothes strewn everywhere, frazzled parents asleep on the couch , a sudden shhhhhhhhhh noise heard when anyone approaches the house, pitbulls in the front yard then run when they hear the kids coming

bam-bam's mom
08-16-2005, 02:52 PM
yup i better find a place to ship my toddler to....i would just be sick if my pit got hurt!!!

the frisco kid
08-16-2005, 03:03 PM
better contact peta damn toddlers are just out of controll

GaDog
08-16-2005, 09:28 PM
I hope someone has sent this to all of the Denver politicians and to the police department. i really dont think man is ready to except that he and his kind are the most destructive creatures ever to inhabit the earth.

Chyna
08-17-2005, 07:54 PM
Why do you think I carry pepper spray when I walk my dog. An if ya think toddlers are bad when they are young just wait till they grow up. We are doomed.

fyremyst
08-17-2005, 08:15 PM
Dont forget beware the pissed off teenagers

Defend2DaEnd
08-17-2005, 08:21 PM
LMAFO I have one toddler and a soon to be toddler. You know they are better in pairs of the opposite sex, lol. But everyone thinks I'm crazy for letting my toddlers near my dogs. Better put my Beware of Toddler sign up. They are outlaws I tell you. You can see it in their eyes.....
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b388/TooManyTears/Togetherness/May2068.jpg

DryCreek
08-18-2005, 07:27 AM
I don't know.I'm afraid for my dogs.I think all toddler owners shoulder carry a pacifier in their back pocket.
LOL this was hilarious.Just what I needed today.

MR PITS
08-18-2005, 08:10 PM
I am tired of these toddlers. Thats all they do is kill our pits.

JohnsonKennels
08-18-2005, 08:22 PM
Oklahoma purposed TSL(toddler selection legislation)
1: toddlers must be chipped by state officials.
2: toddles must be muzzled when in public places.
3: toddlers must be on leash no longer then 3 feet.
4: toddler owners must carry a $50,000 Get-On-My-Nerves policy
5: toddler owners must have a stun gun in case of attack on public

If any of these TSL rules are broken then said toddler(s) will be handed over to the APBT for propper disposal.
Thank you,
Chairman of the Toddler Haters Foundation